Why I’m not a big soccer fan

1. The ball is the wrong shape
2. The game is 10 minutes too long
3. I cannot fathom how you play a game with so few rules (3 or so I think)
4. If I wanted to watch a bunch of ballerinas prancing and diving around, I would go to the ballet
5. The powers-that-be don’t believe in using technology (you would think cricket honcho’s would be more conservative)
6. If your hair is in your face, get it cut or wear a scrum cap, not a headband
7. Only one person in a team is allowed to use their hands
8. The off-side ruling is too shallow
9. The referee is not allowed to play advantage
10. Players have NO respect for the referee
11. Getting a yellow card means you stay on the pitch and carry on playing (WTF?)
12. It’s not a contact sport
13. I cannot discern any meaningful structure to the game
14. A side only has 11 players, not 15.